I have tried really hard not to miss a week with my blog, but I knew there would be times that I would. It turns out end of summer beginning of school year is one of those times. Life really got away from me. What with therapy an hours drive away twice a week, end of summer get togethers and prepping for the school year (more on that next blog post). At the same time we are reducing ‘Buddy’s’ meds and with each step down I am learning new things about him. Good, amazing, inspiring things that I am happy to take time to watch and participate in.

It is hard to quantify exactly what I am seeing. Most of it is very subtle, like watching a bud slowly open. His eye contact is better. He seems to be seeing the world more clearly. There is a bridge we often cross and last month he started laughing every time we crossed the middle of it. I would dearly love to know what he sees. I content myself with knowing that he sees.

His movements are smoother, and more purposeful. There is less of a hesitation or waiver when he is reaching for something. His tall kneel is more stable. His bunny hop is faster. I often see him playing with a toy with one hand, leaning on the other, with one knee on the floor and the other foot next to it! And he is STABLE there! I began offering him my hands when I found him in that pose and he would pull up into a stand! Now a month later he is beginning to attempt it on his own with the baby gate…and in the crib. (Time for a big boy bed!) And after school with me supporting his weight we walk up the 3 stairs and into the living room, him grinning all the way.

Most endearing, and in my opinion importantly is his emotional connection. He loves to play hugging and kissing games with me, and is branching out to Daddy and Auntie. He is as I said blossoming, and I am falling in love with him all over again. This little boy who has been through so much, still has a grin to melt the world and a joy that cannot be matched.

I have been home sick this week, miserable and exhausted. Worried that I will get him sick, that he is bored, that I am not giving him what he needs. Well, this time he took care of me. He had a half hour giggle fit. The world simply amused him. I slid off the couch to be a little closer and he began hugging me with gusto. When I hugged him back he squealed with laughter. Then he would pull away smiling slyly, and lean in for another hug and giggle session. This lasted for at least 15 minutes. It made my day, for a little while I forgot being sick. I forgot my worries for him and I just laughed with abandon. These are the moments that make it all worthwhile.

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